28th April 2008
Work is still going well and I’m enjoying the challenge. I feel a bit down this evening though, lonely, I guess. I’d like to find Mr Right, but I’m in no hurry. In fact, I do wonder if I have it in me to ever trust a man again.
I’m aching a bit this evening after the latest session of my self-defence class. The class is going well and I’ve a good grasp of the basics. I don’t want to lose my femininity, but I do want the confidence of knowing that I can defend myself. The instructor even asked me to ease up on one of the other pupils because I was ‘too enthusiastic’. Yikes! Little old me showing too much aggression. I suppose I do have a fair amount of anger trapped inside me, due to the beatings received at the hands of Dan and my mother, but I tend to turn that anger on myself and get annoyed with myself if I do things wrong. I’m aware of the problem and trying to make changes, but it’s two steps forward, one step back most of the time.
Listening to a collection of 1960s classics on my CD player now. I love these songs and I’m sure they’ll brighten my mood. California Dreaming. Ah, well…maybe I’ll get there one day…
Hannah Howe 