14th February 2008
Valentine’s Day. No card from Dan, no surprise there, though I did see him with a big bunch of flowers, for his ‘fancy woman’.
I called at the secretarial agency and they promised to look into possible vacancies – I need to make a fresh start in every sense. I like agency work because it means I can move on. If I stay in one place for too long the office staff sense that I take regular beatings at home and some of them see this as a sign of weakness and bully me. Maybe I am a weak person, though if I can break free from Dan then I can prove to myself that I am strong. I looked after my mother from the age of four so I must have some inner-strength, somewhere.
As I walked out of the agency I noticed a sign in an office across the road. It said, ‘Angus Read – Discrete Enquiries’. Without hesitating or too much thought, I crossed the road and entered Mr Read’s office. I sat and we chatted. In his late thirties, tall with thinning brown hair, I found Mr Read easy to talk with. I outlined my problem – suspecting Dan of the affair – and he said he’d like to help, but he had too many clients on the go at the moment. However, if I call back tomorrow he will discuss my situation and offer me pointers so that I can gather evidence of the affair for myself. I feel as though I need evidence and that I need to consult with a solicitor. I have made up my mind – I want a clean break from Dan with all the loose legal ends neatly tied up. I sense that he will try every trick in the book, and some that haven’t been written yet, to get me to stay, not because he loves me, but because I play an important role in his life, that of punchbag. But I’m tired of his abuse; I’m not going to put up with it any longer. I will call on Angus Read again tomorrow and listen to what he has to say.
Hannah Howe 