14th April 2008
In work today Angus told me that he was making some headway with the live-in adulterer. He suggested that maybe I could lend a hand by calling at the love nest and posing as a market researcher. I asked him if this was strictly legal and he replied, somewhat enigmatically, that it was so long as it didn’t end up in court. So, with my boss’s approval, I faked a market research form on a notepad computer and drove to the love nest. Angus had established that the couple were having an affair, that the man was living with his wife at weekends, then travelling 120 miles to work in the city during the week where he spent his spare time with his lover. But Angus suspected that there was more and it was my task to establish the truth.
I arrived at the love nest with my notebook computer and a sincere smile and asked if I could have five minutes of the lady’s time to ask some research questions. She was about to slam the door on me when two Jehovah’s Witnesses appeared at her gate. Rather than talk with them, she decided to talk with me and I asked some general questions about grocery likes, energy company preferences, favourite television programs, etc. Her answers were fairly standard, though she did drop in the phrase ‘my husband’ from time to time. I asked where her husband worked and noted that his place of employment matched the name Angus had given me. I soon realized that we’d opened a can of worms because her husband was the businessman commuter and we’d uncovered bigamy. I thanked the lady for her time then sat in my car in the shadows. I wondered what excuse the bigamist gave this lady to be free from her at weekends. I also wondered what Angus would make of my discovery. Presumably, this matter would reach the courts and my evidence would be inadmissible. Doubtless, Angus would find a way around that. It’s an example of what Angus told me at the start – when you go digging in the dirt you do discover that there are an awful lot of worms.
Hannah Howe 